Not Yet Gone
by Mightily Mousey
Summary: This is how things should have gone. G1, ProwlxJazz, AU. Betaed by Okami Myrrhibis
1. Part I Hope

Title: Not Yet Gone

Chapter: Part I - Hope

Author: SBX

Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Bluestreak, Sunny and Sides, First Aid, Perceptor, Hound, Arcee, Springer

Pairings: ProwlxJazz

Rating: PG

Warnings: AU, angst and fluff

Disclaimer: No character used in this story belongs to me. 

Summary: This is how things should have gone.

A/N: G1 fic. Done for the prowlxjazz Christmas challenge. Not quite a Christmas fic, but it fits all four prompts so it must count for something…Like the summary said this is how the '86 movie should have ended.

* * *

_"Memory awakens hope. It is the beautiful task of Advent to awaken in all of us memories of goodness and thus to open doors of hope." - Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger._

First Aid looked over the six mechs laid out on tables in the makeshift morgue with sorrow. All of them were once comrades and beloved friends, now they were destined to be recycled for parts. Being created on Earth and therefore accustomed to the humans' methods of dealing with the dead, the very thought of taking apart the people he cared for and eventually putting whatever parts that were salvageable in other Autobots was disturbing. Especially Ratchet, who had been more than a friend; he had been the closest the young medic would ever have to a father.

However, by Cybertronian tradition it had to be done and as the newly appointed CMO it was First Aid's responsibility to carry out the distasteful act. Still, Perceptor was in the other room trying to salvage some of Wheeljack's more useful inventions. The proximity of the scientist was reassuring; a silent promise that he would be there to help if this task became too much.

Ratchet was at one end of the line of corpses while Prowl was at another. Not quite ready to dig around in his mentor's innards and take him apart permanently, First Aid decided to start with the former 2IC.

As he looked down at the deceased tactician he couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for the spark mate Prowl would leave behind. He didn't know if Jazz had been informed of his mate's death because he had yet to see him. It was likely that telling him was unnecessary, though. Due to the nature of the bond it was likely the saboteur had felt the exact moment of his mate's passing.

Sighing, First Aid decided that the time for procrastination was over and reached into his subspace for a laser cutter. It would be required to open the cover over Prowl's spark casing, which could only be opened conventionally by the will of the owner. Based on his research the medic had learned that the typical place to start was at the spark case. Once the spark was extinguished and if the casing was undamaged it could be used to replace the damaged casing of a terminally injured patient.

However it was unlikely the casing was still intact. The damage to Prowl's chest cavity was so extensive that First Aid hadn't even bothered to check to see if the spark was still active. All of the body's other functions were inactive; there was no possible way the spark was still alive.

As he removed the panel and saw what was behind it the young medic was suddenly reminded of something his mentor had once said to him. 

_"At least once in your career you'll encounter what I like to refer to as a 'medical miracle.' Someday you'll get a patient that is so badly injured that there is no way you can save them. But you'll try anyway because you're a medic and that's what a medic does. We just can't help ourselves. But somehow, someway they do survive. By your hand and skill they live, whether by the grace of Primus or your patient's stubborn will to live, I don't know. They do live, and you'll never be the same again."_

First Aid stared down at the dimly glowing, flickering spark in dumb shock for a full minute before the implications finally set in. Prowl was alive. He could be saved. But the young medic couldn't do it himself.

"_Perceptor!"_


	2. Part II Peace

Title: Not Yet Gone

Chapter: Part II - Peace

Author: SBX

Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Bluestreak, Sunny and Sides, First Aid, Perceptor, Hound, Arcee, Springer

Pairings: ProwlxJazz

Rating: PG

Warnings: AU, angst and fluff

Disclaimer: No character used in this story belongs to me. 

Summary: This is how things should have gone.

A/N: The relation between the prompt and what I wrote for it is a bit obscure, but I'll try to explain it. It's a well-known fact that the mind and the heart are usually in conflict. What you feel and what you think rarely ever coincide. Jazz is suffering from a conflict between his spark and his mind. His mind thinks Prowl is dead but his spark knows better. The only way he can find peace is if his mind and his spark are on the same wavelength.

* * *

_"The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them." - Isaiah 11: 6._

Three days after the attack on Autobot City, after the fight with Unicron and the ascension of a new leader, after the deaths of some of his closest friends and comrades, and Jazz still couldn't bring himself to leave his room on the Ark.

Bluestreak and the Twins had made several attempts to get him to open his door and talk to them but he had ignored his friends, not even responding to any of their calls. He knew he was starting to scare them and they would eventually go to the brass about his behavior and have the door code overridden, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Not about them, not about the Autobots, not even about the music that had been an integral part of his life for as long as he could remember.

He just couldn't handle it. He couldn't reconcile the knowledge that Prowl was dead with the feeling in his spark that he wasn't. Jazz had seen the body, had seen the damage done and knew there was no possible way his mate was still alive. His spark wouldn't accept this, wouldn't acknowledge the loss and this threw his mind into chaos. He was unstable and a danger to everybody around him.

His only option was to stay in his room and hope his mind and spark would find peace if given time.


	3. Part III Love

Title: Not Yet Gone

Chapter: Part III - Love

Author: SBX

Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Bluestreak, Sunny and Sides, First Aid, Perceptor, Hound, Arcee, Springer

Pairings: ProwlxJazz

Rating: PG

Warnings: AU, angst and fluff

Disclaimer: No character used in this story belongs to me. 

Summary: This is how things should have gone.

A/N: I like to think that this prompt is rather self explanatory. This part gave me the warm-fuzzies. :D

* * *

_"Love is the strongest thing in the world - stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death - and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love." - Henry Van Dyke_

Two days after First Aid's discovery, the remaining Autobots of the Ark's original crew were gathered around the repair berth of their weak, but alive and conscious tactician. Despite protests from First Aid and Perceptor, Prowl had insisted that he sit up on his own so he could meet them all optic to optic.

It had been a touching and spark-warming reunion. Most of the those present had either clasped arms with him or given Prowl a gentle clap on the back or shoulder, gushing about how relieved they were to see him alive and well. Bluestreak had taken one look at his superior and practically thrown himself into his arms and lap, sobbing Prowl's name into his newly repaired chest plate over and over. 

Several Autobots had moved to pull Bluestreak away, worried that he would aggravate the tactician's injuries but they were just waved off. Prowl wrapped his arms around his young friend and murmured soothing words in his audios. They had been close for a long time, seeing each other as the brothers neither had ever had. Prowl could suffer a little discomfort if it helped his little brother's peace of mind.

Sometime between Bluestreak's entrance and Prowl finally getting him to calm down, the Twins had arrived. Before he realized it they were on either side of the repair berth, wrapping their arms around the two Datsuns and just holding on. No words, just a silent desire to reassure themselves that he has there and alive.

Prowl had never before felt more loved and appreciated by anybody that wasn't his mate. The only thing that would make this moment better would be if Jazz was here, joining in the puppy pile that Bluestreak had inadvertently instigated.

Prowl's spark called out to it's other half, desperately wanting it near.


	4. Part IV Joy

Title: Not Yet Gone

Chapter: Part IV - Joy

Author: SBX

Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Bluestreak, Sunny and Sides, First Aid, Perceptor, Hound, Arcee, Springer

Pairings: ProwlxJazz

Rating: PG

Warnings: AU, angst and fluff

Disclaimer: No character used in this story belongs to me. 

Summary: This is how things should have gone.

A/N: This prompt is the one that first inspired the whole story. The rest of it was built up around this one part.

* * *

_"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." - Psalms 30:5_

Jazz felt a tugging at his spark, a familiar one, and no matter how he tried to ignore it or tell himself it wasn't real he couldn't quite shake it.

Finally in a fit of frustration Jazz threw his hands up in the air and yelled, "Alright, already! I'll go!" He gave his treacherous spark a nasty look though it was hidden behind his chest armor. As he stomped out of the door he muttered under his breath, "And while I'm out I should probably have First Aid take a look at me. There's no way this is normal."

He followed the tugging and tilted his head in bewilderment when it led him straight to the med bay. Jazz glanced down at his covered spark again and muttered, "I guess we're finally in agreement on something, eh?" He didn't even acknowledge the strange looks the he got from some of the new arrivals from Cybertron.

As the saboteur passed them, Arcee exchanged looks with Springer. "I think they brought Prowl back a little too late. Jazz has gone off the deep end." Springer rolled his optics at that. "Naw, I think he's always been this odd." Arcee huffed at his insensitivity and stormed off, leaving her friend to wonder what it was he had said.

Jazz, distracted as he was, hadn't heard a single word they said and just continued on his way.

He slowed down and hesitated once the door to the med bay came in sight. It was open and through it he could see a large gathering of mechs. He recognized many of them as the surviving members of the Ark crew and wondered if they were having a private memorial. 

Jazz felt guilt rise up as he paused just outside the door. He had been Prime's 3IC and it was his responsibility to be there for his fellow Autobots in their time of loss. He had been so wrapped up in his own pain that he hadn't thought about the others at all.

He turned to leave, no longer feeling that he belonged amongst the crew of the Ark, but he hadn't taken two steps before Hound spotted him and darted after him. The tracker caught him by the arm and wordlessly dragged him back into the med bay, ignoring the saboteur's protests. The other Autobots, after seeing where the commotion was coming from, moved to get out of their way. 

Why were they all smiling? What the slag was going on here? Jazz was baffled enough by this odd circus of a gathering but when Hound finally dragged him to the front of the crowd and he saw what was in the center ring his processor sputtered to a near stop.

Prowl. His beautiful, clever, dead Prowl was there on a berth, leaning back against Sunstreaker with Bluestreak curled up against his chest plate looking more content than he had in a while and Sideswipe sitting on the berth next to him with a hand resting on his shoulder. And Prowl was gazing at him in a mixture of concern, fond amusement, and love.

Jazz approached the berth and reached out for his mate without even realizing it. Bluestreak and Sideswipe slipped off of the berth and out of the way, but Sunstreaker remained at his post as Prowl's support. 

His hand paused just inches from his mate's face as the saboteur debated with himself about whether or not this could possibly be real. There was the fear that if he touched him, Prowl would turn out to be an allusion.

The hand wrapping around his was a shock to his very spark and he stared into understanding optics as the tactician murmured his name softly, "Jazz." 

Jazz choked, tears that he had thought all cried out leaking from his optics. "You were dead. I saw you dead," he croaked, his voice hoarse from emotion and days of disuse. Prowl gave him a sad smile and kissed his mate's hand as he said, "I know, and I'm sorry. But I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."

Next thing he knew his mate's free arm was around his shoulders, pulling him closely for a desperate kiss as the fingers of their clasped hands entwined. Neither noticed as Sunstreaker backed off and rejoined his brother and Bluestreak amongst the crowd. 

Jazz was more than capable of giving their recovering tactician all of the support he needed.


End file.
